Happy Mother’s Day!

This was originallywritten on July 15, 2007 , revised May 7, 2011 

Happy Mother’s Day!  It’s beautiful here in the Philadelphia area!

Being Authentic….how does one achieve such a goal? 

I’ve spent much of my life following my “drummer”, one that is significantly different from that of most people. In some ways I’ve been lucky; I was raised in a very progressive, free-thinking home with parents who respected us and usually treated us with the high regard you would expect from your friends or peers.  We weren’t told or manipulated into compromising our thoughts or our desires, although we were shown by example what type of behavior was expected of us. Consequently, we grew up feeling relatively confident and competent. Of course, we four siblings are prone to life’s insecurities and lack of self-esteem on occasion just as all people are subject to being human and all that that condition entails. 

So what does being authentic have to do with my childhood?  I believe that when one respects the inner workings of one’s self from a very young age within a kind and respectful environment, one grows to be a validated and internally strong person. I have known few people who experienced the freedoms I did as a child. What grows out of a loving and considerate home environment is a person who does not need to compete in an unhealthy and aggressive mode. I have no need to think I am better than others, although I do enjoy competing with myself. I thrive on doing my best and giving more than is expected .I believe that is because I was not pushed or prodded. There was no harassing or haranguing by my parents. I don’t remember being told I “should” do this or that. 

Mom and Dad were a happy couple. I never heard a harsh word between them, never heard arguing or anger. They were pretty well-suited and were true friends. They each had interests of their own and they also had interests that they shared with each other and with us.  My father was a self-employed dry cleaner, made a very comfortable living (he did work 6 days a week, in good weather he golfed on Friday afternoons). We children were not aware of the every day luxury that was a part of our lives until we were well into adulthood.  I call it the Tiptoe Through the Tulips childhood. 

Yes, there were things about my childhood that were not idyllic. Our parents thought we girls would marry someone who had a business and we would be supported in the lifestyle in which we had been raised.  Consequently, they were not particularly concerned about us attending college (this was the 1960’s, not many girls had career aspirations).  They were good people. I believe they lived their lives in a pretty authentic way. They had beliefs that they adhered to and believed in standing up for what was right.  They believed in being the individual you were meant to be and allowed us the space to be who we were.  They did not apologize for who they were or for their beliefs. They were not co-dependent at all. In our home, people had the space and freedom to think. 

Having said all of this….

How can you be authentic when you are not perfect? Or when you haven’t done everything you promised you’d do? Or when you can’t do everything you’ve promised, because you simply are not capable of doing that anymore?

These are the issues we deal with as we have gained more knowledge of the ramifications of our actions. 

It sounds corny, but LOVE, LOVE, LOVE is the answer.  Love yourself, Love the one you’re with, Love your family and friends, treat people like they are special, and show your love by being open, accepting, supportive and loyal. Live in a space that comes from love not fear. Share who you are with those who welcome you and share your gifts (if you don’t know what they are, ask someone who knows you well)…you have been given gifts in order to share them, not to hoard them!  If you do that and take a stand for what is right rather than what is convenient or popular, you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and know you are doing your best. You will be authentic.

I hope your Mother’s Day is a good one…I wish my Mother was here…she had to go in 1975 at 57 years old. I miss her every day…she is with me…she taught me so much…

This is MeddlingMom…celebrate those you love today and every day…..

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