Posts Tagged ‘chaos control coaching’

5 Ways Motherhood Has Changed Over Time

May 11, 2013

I opened up yahoo awhile ago to check my e-mails. I found this wonderful piece about mothers and our perceived value through modern times. However, it says, I cannot use it.  Go into yahoo and do a search for this title:  5 Ways Motherhood Has Changed Over TimeI  I hope you enjoy it; I found it immensely interesting and informative.  HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all of you…moms, dads and kids alike!


Bombing in Boston-sadness

April 21, 2013
 The article below gave me some information…unfortunately, it isn’t enough…the tragedy at The Boston Marathon has been all over the news since it happened…we are all puzzled and saddened. Some people get angry, others, devastated and confused, others want THE FACTS…as if facts are easy to come by. No matter how much or how little you have listened, watched or read, what we are really seeking is for something to make sense. As Americans with our seemingly ADHD short attention span, we accept the nonsensical speed and misinformation from all media because we seek easy answers and conclusions that “make sense” and make us feel a little better.
Why would two seemingly intelligent young brothers who have everything to look forward to decide to destroy their own lives and those of others? How could this possibly make sense? Who could possiblly wish to harm positive, hard-training athletes (of all levels and ages) as they participate in such an impressive display of their spirits? as they offer the world a gift of optimism, faith and true personal power?
I have tried not to watch, listen or read much of the coverage offered this past week. I get tired of the emotion that comes to me if I allow all of this to enter my body and my spirit.
The frenzy about finding suspects and then capturing or killing them (and it does seem that we went after this with a ferocity that makes one question whether accuracy was essential) makes all of the chase and the government officials suspect in my head. Of course, I am a pacifist, so you can take what I say keeping that in mind.
For me, the tragedy of people passing unnecessarily, whether they were killed at the marathon or after, and the injured and their families and their ongoing saga -FOREVER-this is really all too much to keep in my heart every moment.
I am saddened by the silent and not-so-silent cheering when a man is killed by police (yes, I know he allegedly killed people for no good reason). My overwhelming feeling about all of this is the sadness of our spirit as a people…I can never celebrate a death, no matter how seemingly necessary or just. My sadness is about the conversation that is out there about these men being Muslims…I am so very sick over our need to put people in little categories, stereotyping…and I wonder how many people are surprised that there are Muslims in Chechnya!  I digress.
I believe in love and I pray that we Americans will change the conversation and learn to not cheer for anyone’s demise.  Lives shortened for no good reason..parents, friends, loved ones who mourn…for their own personal losses in addition to their guilt and sadness over what havoc their loved one may have caused…
Peace is the answer-be a peacemaker…

For bombing suspects, question may be who led whom


  • This combination of undated photos shows Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, left, and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 19. The FBI says the two brothers and suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing killed an MIT police officer, injured a transit officer in a firefight and threw explosive devices at police during a getaway attempt in a long night of violence that left Tamerlan dead and Dzhokhar still at large on Friday, April 19, 2013. The ethnic Chechen brothers lived in Dagestan, which borders the Chechnya region in southern Russia. They lived near Boston and had been in the U.S. for about a decade, one of their uncles reported said. (AP Photo/The Lowell Sun & Robin Young)

BOSTON (AP) — Tamerlan Tsarnaev ranted at a neighbor about Islam and the United States. His younger brother, Dzhokhar, relished debating people on religion, “then crushing their beliefs with facts.”

The older brother sought individual glory in the boxing ring, while the younger excelled as part of a team. Tamerlan “swaggered” through the family home like a “man-of-the-house type,” one visitor recalls, while Dzhokhar seemed “very respectful and very obedient” to his mother.

The brothers, now forever linked in the Boston Marathon bombing tragedy, in some ways seemed as different as siblings could be. But whatever drove them to allegedly set off two pressure-cooker bombs, their uncle is certain Dzhokhar was not the one pulling the strings.

“He’s not been understanding anything. He’s a 19-year-old boy,” Ruslan Tsarni said of his brother’s youngest child, who is clinging to life in a Boston hospital after a gunbattle with police. “He’s been absolutely wasted by his older brother. I mean, he used him. He used him for whatever he’s done. For what we see they’ve done. OK?”

Criminologist James Alan Fox says the uncle’s intuition is justified. In cases like this, he says, it is highly unusual for the younger participant — in this case, a sibling — to be the leader.

“I would be surprised,” says Fox, a professor of Criminology, Law and Public Policy at Boston’s Northeastern University. “Very surprised.”

Whatever their fraternal pecking order, when the bullets began flying in Watertown on Thursday night and 26-year-old Tamerlan went down, his younger brother ran him over — dragging him for about 30 feet — before ditching the car and fleeing on foot. After a 24-hour manhunt that shut down most of the Boston metropolitan area, police cornered the gravely wounded Dzhokhar hiding in a boat in a backyard, only blocks from where his brother bled out.

Officials said Dzhokhar was in serious condition Saturday, unable to communicate. So, at least for now, investigators and the public are left with only enigma.

The ethnic Chechen family came to this country in 2002, after fleeing troubles in Kyrgyzstan and then Dagestan, a predominantly Muslim republic in Russia’s North Caucasus. They settled in a working-class part of Cambridge, where the father, Anzor Tsarnaev, opened an auto shop.

He returned to Dagestan about a year ago.

Luis Vasquez went to high school with Tamerlan and later helped coach Dzhokhar’s soccer team at Cambridge Rindge and Latin. With the father gone, Vasquez said, the older brother assumed a kind of paternal role, at least where the girls in the family were concerned.

“He was very protective of his (younger) sister, Bella,” Vasquez said. “He would keep an eye out, making sure she’s good, making sure she’s not having a hard time.”

Vasquez chalked it up to “his culture” and “what his family expected out of him.”

David Mijares, who trained in boxing with Tamerlan in high school and later coached the younger brother in soccer, agreed that his friend felt pressure to take his father’s place.

“He had to be a man at a very early age,” says Mijares. “That would be, in my opinion, a huge reason for who he was, all serious and no nonsense.”

John Pinto said the pair were frequent patrons at his Midwest Grill, just a couple of blocks from their house. When they walked in, he said, Tamerlan was always in the lead.

“I think the big brother is more the command guy, boss,” Pinto said, puffing out his chest for emphasis.

That said, Dzhokhar was very much his own man. While he would tag along to Tamerlan’s boxing practices, the younger brother was into wrestling.

In one of his tweets, he complained that his mother was trying to arrange a marriage for him, as she’d done for his sisters.

“she needs to (hash)chillout,” he tweeted on July 12. “i’ll find my own honey.”

Tamerlan preceded his brother at the prestigious Cambridge Rindge and Latin High School, which counts celebrities Matt Damon and Ben Affleck among its alumni. But he does not appear to have been a standout student and athlete whose reputation Dzhokhar would have felt pressure to live up to.

“To be perfectly honest, I did not know he HAD an older brother from the start,” said classmate Alexandros Stefanakis, who played pickup basketball games and hung out with Dzhokhar outside school.

Anne Kilzer of Belmont would go to the Tsarnaev home for regular facials from the boys’ mother, Zubeidat. She said the older brother was a “macho guy,” whereas Dzhokhar seemed more cerebral.

The few times that Tamerlan was there, he would wave his mother off when she tried to introduce him. “He sort of swaggered through,” she said. “Sort of a man-of-the-house type.”

In a blog entry, Kilzer’s daughter, Alyssa, suggested that the mother became increasingly religious as their acquaintance progressed. For instance, she began wearing a hijab, the traditional Muslim headscarf.

“She started to refuse to see boys that had gone through puberty, as she had consulted a religious figure and he had told her it was sacrilegious,” Alyssa Kilzer wrote. “She was often fasting. She told me that she had cried for days when her oldest son, Tamerlan, told her that he wanted to move out, going against her culture’s tradition of the son staying in the house with the mother until marriage.”

She said the mother also expressed some rather strident views about the U.S. government. But it was difficult to know who was influencing whom in the household.

“During this facial session she started quoting a conspiracy theory, telling me that she thought 9-11 was purposefully created by the American government to make America hate Muslims,” Alyssa Kilzer wrote. “‘It’s real,’ she said. ‘My son knows all about it. You can read on the internet.'”

Kilzer didn’t say to which son the mother was referring. Kilzer, who is studying in Scotland, could not immediately be reached.

Tsarni told The Associated Press from his home in Maryland that a deep rift opened between him and his sister-in-law, but that he tried to maintain a relationship with the boys. However, that effort began to fall apart several years ago, he said, when Tamerlan “started carrying all this nonsense associated with religion, with Islamic religion.”

When he asked his older nephew why he wasn’t in school, he said Tamerlan gave an enigmatic answer. “Oh, I’m in God’s business,” the young man replied.

Tamerlan would throw out foreign words like “jihad” and “Inshallah” — Arabic for “God willing” — without really understanding their meaning, he said. Though Tsarni is himself Muslim, he said he does not worship at a mosque.

The uncle was surprised when he learned that Tamerlan had gotten married to an American woman — a “good Christian family girl,” who his nephew said was about to convert to Islam.

In February, Alexander Podobryaev, who lives a couple of houses from the Tsarnaevs, exchanged pleasantries with Tamerlan as they shoveled snow. He says the man pointed to a woman in a black Muslim headscarf and identified her as his wife.

Others began noticing signs of Tamerlan’s increasing agitation.

One of the brothers’ neighbors, Albrecht Ammon, said he had a bizarre encounter with Tamerlan in a pizza shop about three months ago. The older brother argued with him about U.S. foreign policy, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and religion.

He said Tamerlan referred to the Bible as a “cheap copy” of the Quran, and that many of this country’s wars “are based upon the Bible — how it’s an excuse to invade other countries.”

“He had nothing against the American people,” Ammon said. “He had something against the American government.”

Dzhokhar, on the other hand, was “real cool,” Ammon said. “A chill guy.”

An elder at the Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center, the largest mosque in New England, said Tamerlan occasionally attended Friday prayer services at the mosque in the past year and a half.

About three months ago, around Martin Luther King Day, Tamerlan stood up and interrupted the imam during the sermon, said Anwar Kazmi, a board member of the Islamic Society. The imam compared the slain civil rights leads to the Prophet Muhammed, drawing objections from Tamerlan, Kazmi said.

Mosque leaders later sat down with Tamerlan and discussed his rant, said Kazmi, who said Tamerlan returned to future services and had no further outbursts.

While his older brother was railing about religion and world politics, Dzhokhar seemed more interested in the HBO series “Game of Thrones” and other television shows.

“Breaking Bad taught me how to dispose of a corpse,” he tweeted on Jan. 16, referring to the popular AMC series about a dying chemistry teacher who turns to cooking methamphetamine to leave a nest egg for his family.

He did tweet about religion, but they were hardly the words of a hard-core zealot.

“This night deserves Hennessy a bad b—- and an o of weed,” he wrote on Nov. 17. “the holy trinity”

On Nov. 29, he wrote: “I kind of like religious debates, just hearing what other people believe is interesting and then crushing their beliefs with facts is fun.” And on Jan. 15: “I don’t argue with fools who say Islam is terrorism it’s not worth a thing, let an idiot remain an idiot.”

However, he acknowledged in another message around Christmas that the “Brothers at the mosque either think I’m a convert or that I’m from Algeria or Syria.”

Fox said it’s not unheard of for the younger person in a crime team to be the dominant personality. But he said it’s rare.

“In this case, the older brother is the one that seems to have become religious and drawn to Islam,” Fox said. “The older brother dropped out of school … whereas the younger brother, it was all positives.”

But, he said, “the age factor is critical here.”

Tamerlan was a fairly gifted boxer, but he preened about fighting prowess that often fell far short. His younger brother seemed content to be part of a team.

Marvin Salazar was two years older than Dzhokhar when they attended Community Charter Schools of Cambridge, where they played intramural soccer together. He was impressed by the younger boy’s smarts and drive, but noted that while Dzhokhar was very fast, he wasn’t the kind of kid who needed to showboat and score goals.

“I remember he told me he liked to play midfield,” the 21-year-old said. “He’s the guy who sets everybody up for the plays. He’s one of the most important people.”

He was also on his high school wrestling team.

Tamerlan once said he had no American friends. His brother had lots of them, but fellow students at UMass-Dartmouth say he also hung out with some Russian speakers.

On March 14, 2012, Dzhokhar tweeted: “a decade in america already, i want out” That same day, he added, “im trying to grow a beard”

Dzhokhar became naturalized last September, federal officials told the AP. His older brother had a green card but may have been thwarted in his quest for U.S. citizenship by an assault charge, his father told The New York Times.

If Tamerlan recorded his thoughts, they have not yet surfaced — at least publicly. His brother left a trail on the Internet, although in an Aug. 7, 2012 tweet, he called himself a “heavy sleeper and a great liar”

In March, Dzhokhar tweeted: “Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.” A week and a half earlier, he reminded his followers, “Never underestimate the rebel with a cause.”

The day of the bombing, he wrote: “There are people that know the truth but stay silent & there are people that speak the truth but we don’t hear them cuz they’re the minority”

Tsarni is confident authorities will find that Tamerlan was his younger brother’s “mentor.”

“Dzhokhar, of course, was looking up at him,” he said.

But their body language the day of the bombings seems to suggest at least a partnership of equals.

In one of the now infamous photos the FBI released to the public in hopes of tips, the older brother has his head down, the visor pulled low over his face as if he’s trying to hide. Dzhokhar, by contrast, has his white baseball cap turned backward, revealing his entire face, his chin is thrust confidently into the air.

Associated Press videojournalist Joseph Frederick contributed to this report.

How To Protect Your Social Security Number

March 31, 2013

I read this today on yahoo…hope it is helpful to you

5 Places Where You Should Never Give Your Social Security Number

By Adam Levin | – Fri, Mar 29, 2013 3:29 PM EDT

Every time you go to a new doctor or dentist and they give you a clipboard brimming with documents to fill out and sign, notice how they always ask for your Social Security number? Do you dutifully give it up? Did you ever wonder if they really need it?

I once asked a doctor why he wanted it. His response: “I don’t really know. I guess it’s because we’ve always asked for it.” (In actuality, most doctors ask in case your insurance doesn’t pay the entire invoice and/or to fill out a death certificate if you die. Offer a next of kin who knows the number instead, and your phone number for billing issues.)

Almost every day somebody asks for your Social Security Number and, like the Grand Marshal of a parade throwing rose petals or candy to the crowd, you probably give it up without giving it a second thought — because that’s what you’ve always done.

So, the next time someone asks you for your Social Security number, reflect on this: In December, the Army announced that hackers stole the Social Security numbers of 36,000 visitors to Fort Monmouth in New Jersey, including intelligence officers. Cyber activists took control of the CIA’s website. The private information, including some Social Security numbers, of celebrities and political leaders including FBI Director Robert Mueller and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton were exposed.

The sensitive data of First Lady Michelle Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and Attorney General Eric Holder, recently were posted on a website for the world to see.

Hackers even listened in on a phone call in which the FBI and Scotland Yard were discussing the criminal investigation against those very same hackers!

And, these incidents are only the crumbs on top of the coffee cake when you consider that hackers and thieves have improperly accessed more than 600 million consumer files since 2004.

Monty Python had it right

The moral to these horror stories is that if your Social Security number is stored on any computer anywhere, hackers will find a way to access it, or a compromised or disgruntled employee may well walk out the door with it. If your doctor, gym, or child’s grade school claims otherwise, that their security systems can protect your private data better than the CIA, FBI and Scotland Yard, to quote Monty Python: “Run away!”

Your identity is your biggest asset, and your Social Security number is the key to your personal kingdom. With it an identity thief can wreak havoc, hijacking your old credit accounts, establishing new ones, buying cars and houses, committing crimes, even obtaining medical products and services while pretending to be you, endangering not just your credit and your reputation, but also your life.

Consumers whose Social Security numbers are exposed in a data breach are five times more likely to become fraud victims than those who aren’t, according to the latest identity fraud report by Javelin Strategy & Research.

Just say no

For better or worse, you are the gatekeeper. The person most responsible for shielding your Social Security Number is you. Therefore, your mission is to limit, as best you can, the universe of those who gain access to it.

Here’s a short list of companies and organizations that have absolutely no business requesting your Social Security number:

1. Anyone who calls or sends you an official-looking email, who texts you a link to any site or designates a number to call where you are asked to confirm your SSN. If they call, check the credit or debit card that is the subject of the communication, call the customer service number listed on the back, and ask for the security department. If they email or text, do the same, or go directly to the institution’s website (provided you know who they are). Make sure you type the correct URL, and make sure that the page where you are asked to enter your information is secure. Only provide personal information if you’re the one who controls the interaction.

2. Public schools: Your utility bill confirms your address. Your email and phone number give them channels to contact you in an emergency. Asking for your Social Security number is overkill.

3. Little League, summer camp and the like: For the same reasons as school, a Social Security number should never be required by these groups. If they ask for your child’s birth certificate, show it to them, don’t leave it with them unless they can prove they will protect it. And even then, can you really believe them?  If you use credit to pay for the activity, the organization may need your Social Security number. If you pay for it upfront or with a direct debit to your bank account or credit card, they don’t. Period.

4. Supermarkets: A frequent shopper card is neither a loan, nor a bank account. It’s merely a tool grocery stores use to track your purchases, primarily for marketing purposes. Regardless, many supermarket chains request customers’ Social Security numbers on their application forms. Refuse.

5. Anybody who approaches you on the street, whether it’s a cell phone company salesman offering a free T-shirt or someone running a voter registration campaign: Never, ever give your SSN. If you want an ill-fitting T-shirt festooned with corporate logos, buy one. If you want to register to vote, go to your county board of elections in person.

This is the short list. There are plenty of other organizations that should never get your Social Security number, and if you know one that I’ve left out, please leave it in the comments.

Don’t just hand it over

Once you realize how often you are asked for your Social Security number, you may be surprised. It happens literally all the time. So, the next time someone does, as they inevitably will, here’s how to handle it:

1. Take a minute and think. Maybe they ask for SSNs blindly, because everyone else does, or because that’s how they’ve always done it. Maybe they actually need it. See if their reason sounds legitimate.  (Update: For example,’s Credit Report Card does ask for your SSN in order to generate your credit score and credit report summary — an industry standard – but the information is fully encrypted with a bank level authentication process.)

2. Negotiate. There are many different ways to identify you without a Social Security number, including your driver’s license or account number. Fight to use those instead.

3. If you must share your Social Security number, do so, but make sure the people taking it down have strong security measures in place to protect it. That said, you only have their assurance and frankly, in light of the mistakes people make and the sophistication level of hackers, who really knows if they can protect it?

Overcoming the addiction

If all this sounds like a giant pain in the neck, you’re right. It is. In the midst of our busy lives, we shouldn’t be the only ones concerned with protecting our most valuable identity asset, but it is what it is. Until somebody creates a Silver Bullet for identity theft, we are forced to take matters into our own hands.

Don’t be passive; ask the companies and nonprofit groups with which you do business how they plan to protect you. Do they password protect and encrypt all the personal information they collect? Do they have strict controls on who has access to computers containing your Social Security number, and do they keep this sensitive data off laptops, tablets and hard drives that are easy to steal or lose?

Like the doctor I met, many companies collect Social Security numbers they don’t need because they’re operating on autopilot. They’ve always done it, and their colleagues at other companies do it, so the practice continues and spreads on the strength of simple, dumb inertia. I believe that we are smarter than that. By demanding that companies do a better job protecting our personal information, and refusing to hand out our Social Security numbers like candy at a parade, we can force them to get smarter, too. And if they don’t think we’re serious about this and the government doesn’t finally force them off their Social Security number addiction, it is highly likely that the ultimate regulator of the American economic system, class action attorneys, will be knocking on their doors.

Cheating America- 25 CEOs who make more than their companies pay in taxes

March 19, 2012

This is unbelievable, folks!

Robert Sobel's photo

Orlando Liberal Examiner
August  2011

The growing gap between the rich and the poor in the United States is at an all time high. Over the last thirty years, since the destructive Reagan Administration, the once proud middle class that helped build the country from the ground up has taken a beating. As big business has bought its way into the pockets of our elected officials, the “average Joe” has been the one who has really been paying the price. Since the 1980s, the rate of CEO pay has sky rocketed while the rate of the worker has stayed stagnant. More Americans have lost their jobs as companies have taken full advantage of the free trade agreements we have and have created jobs in other countries where workers will accept pathetically low wages.

According to a new study by the Institute for Policy Studies has come to find that 25 of the top CEO’s, including from companies like Verizon, Coca-Cola & General Electric, were paid more money than their companies paid the government in taxes. This should not come as a surprise, the laws that give these companies the ability to weasel their way into not paying their fair share got their on purpose. These big companies spend big money lobbying in Washington to pay off politicians so they can enact the laws that let them get away with this. Verizon alone paid nearly $17 million towards lobbying and almost another $19 million towards campaign contributions for their favorite Republican friends. The politicians that are bought off need to be voted out, and replaced with people who will represent real Americans. The corporate loop holes and tax cuts that do nothing but add to the bank accounts of the big wigs of the companies should be replaced by a fair tax that benefits everyone and not just a select few. Real reform in trade and the tax code has to happen to get the country back on track.
Americans need to get together to unite as a single voice for the middle class. As the rich get richer and the rest of the country continues to struggle, something clearly needs to be done. The average American worker might not be able to buy their way to a true democracy, but together their voice can be heard, it might be their only chance left.
2010 Pay: $15,199,762
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$3.2 billion
2010 Pay: $14,978,587
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$47 million
2010 Pay: $14,975,235
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$73 million
2010 Pay: $14,615,779
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $0
2010 Pay: $14,850,675
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$152 million
6. MARSH & MCLENNAN CEO: Brian Duperreault
2010 Pay: $14,038,187
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$90 million
7. BOEING CEO: Jim McNerney
2010 Pay: $13,768,019
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $13 million
2010 Pay: $13,732,802
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $7 million
2010 Pay: $13,537,486
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$138 million
2010 Pay: $13,446,399
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$14 million
2010 Pay: $13,320,691
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$3 million
2010 Pay: $13,016,126
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $12 million
13. EBAYCEO: John J. Donahoe
2010 Pay: $12,382,486
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$131 millio
2010 Pay: $12,303,423
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$249 million
2010 Pay: $32,570,596
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$183 million
16. FORDCEO: Alan Mulally
2010 Pay: $26,520,515
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$69 million
2010 Pay: $21,044,952
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $0
18. AON CEO: Gregory Case
2010 Pay: $20,783,301
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $16 million
2010 Pay: $19,379,257
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$670 million
20. COCA-COLA CEO: John F. Brock
2010 Pay: $19,114,318
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $8 million
21. VERIZON CEO: Ivan Seidenberg
2010 Pay: $18,126,854
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: $-705 million
22. DOW CHEMICAL CEO: Andrew Liveris
2010 Pay: $17,739,490
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$576 million
2010 Pay: $17,187,028
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$722 million
24. AMERIPRISE CEO: James Cracchiolo
2010 Pay: $16,252,851
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$224 million
25. HONEYWELL CEO: David Cote
2010 Pay: $15,216,953
U.S. Corporate Income Taxes Paid, 2010: -$471 million

This may have been written in August, but this is NOT OLD or UNIMPORTANT NEWS!

There you have it..please contact the White House, your senators and your representatives.

Please pass this on….

This is MeddlingMom…this is YOUR COUNTRY. Have a good evening….

CANCER- pass along a candle….

March 9, 2012

Description:                                                          Description:                                                          9853C29E69C84D5DAE6D659C2087D375@Main

A small request.. Just one line.

Dear God,  I pray for a cure for cancer.  Amen
Description:                                                          Description:                                                          84A5845B06E0445084E1A019B871C8F0@Main
All  you are asked to do is keep this circulating, even if it’s   Only to one more person.

In memory of anyone you know who has been  struck down by cancer or is still living with  it. Cancer Survivors (and I am one) and their loved ones are also a piece of this. Seemingly everyone is impacted. A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.. Please Keep This  Candle  Going  – 

This is MeddlingMom…in peace and love….have a good weekend.



Dancing With The Stars Lineup-March 19-8PM

February 28, 2012


Donald Driver , “The Greenbay Packer”

 PRO PARTNER: Peta Murgatroyd


Gavin Degraw , “The Platinum Pop Star”

PRO PARTNER: Karina Smirnoff


Gladys Knight , “The Empress of Soul”

PRO PARTNER: Tristan MacManus


Jack Wagner, “Soap’s Steamiest”

 PRO PARTNER: Anna Trebunskaya


Jaleel White, “The Sitcom Star”

  PRO PARTNER: Kym Johnson


Katherine Jenkins,“The Sexy Soprano”

PRO PARTNER: Mark Ballas


Maria Menounos, “Hollywood’s Hottest Host”

PRO PARTNER: Derek Hough


Martina Navratilova, “The Tennis Legend”

PRO PARTNER: Tony Dovolani


Melissa Gilbert, “The Little House Legend”

PRO PARTNER: Maksim Chmerkovskiy


Roshon Fegan, “Disney’s Triple Threat”

PRO PARTNER: Chelsie Hightower


Sherri Shepherd, “The View’s Sassiest”

PRO PARTNER: Val Chmerkovskiy


William Levy, “The Latin Hottie”

PRO PARTNER: Cheryl Burke

It looks like a pretty good lineup…I am looking forward to seeing Gladys, Melissa, Sherri and Martina…and I always enjoy watching Cheryl, Derek and Maksim and Anna. It should be fun…I don’t see any dullards on here this time….you can figure out for yourself who I might mean.

This is MeddlingMom…have a wonderful day…and do a little dancing at home!

Desiderata-a thought for the weekend and your life…

February 25, 2012


(things desired)

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, 1927

This is MeddlingMom….you have everything you need…

Oh, Whitney, we didn’t want you to go!

February 23, 2012

Anyone who was a fan of Whitney Houston and her music is still feeling sad. She rose so quickly to amazing fame. We loved watching and being a part of such magnificence. Her voice was a gift..truly..clear, precise, strong, so beautiful. She was vulnerable, sweet and from what I understand, it sounds as if she truly loved her strong religious upbringing. She got lost…unfortunately as so many do, not just those with fame and fortune…addictions can be deadly…they are fierce to fight off. At this point it is  clear that people die every day from drugs that are prescribed and taken along with something else. The estimate I heard the other day said that 100 people die every day from prescriptions taken incorrectly. So be careful, folks.

I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t ready to see Whitney leave us so soon. I found great comfort and enjoyment hearing so much of her music in recent days.  I remember a time when I was not familiar with who Whitney Houston was…it was 1985 and my soon-to-16 year-old daughter called me at work. “Whitney Houston is performing at the Tower tonight.”Who is Whitney Houston?” Well, you get the idea…of course I left work early to be at the box office when they opened…

Here is my daughter’s description on Facebook:

“I saw Whitney at a little theater in 69th street in Philly on her first tour in 1985 with my mom, Jess and Jess’s friend.  She was amazing, dressed in a peach skirt suit, so low key and gorgeous and her voice blew the roof off the place.  There were so many standing ovations for this young up and comer.  The theater probably had a capacity under 1,000 and we were probably 10th row.   I remember she had family members singing backup on her first tour.  She was such a pure talent.”

and I will add to that…there was no glitz and glamour yet. She had the audience in the palm of her hand. I had  no expectation since I did not know anything about her or her talent, but I remember her taking the audience from a high note, down, down, down, each of us following her notes as if we were almost hypnotized. We were in awe…I was aware at how skilled she was…we were hers…

Here’s a glimpse of what her day was like before that amazing performance.

December 09, 1985  By Mary Shaughnessy

  • Whitney Houston climbs out of her black stretch limo and strides into the hilltop headquarters of Philadelphia’s WUSL at 4:40 p.m., right on time for her fourth live radio interview since 2 that afternoon, her 250th since June. Sporting a loose-fitting brown leather jacket, pegged jeans and dark glasses, a garland of black curls framing her delicately featured face, the rangy 5’8″ former model personifies casual elegance: a 22-year-old Nefertiti who carries herself with frightening self-assurance.
    Deejay Jeff Wyatt rises from his control board to greet Whitney. “You know, I coulda been a rich man if I accepted all the bribes from the guys wanting to be in this room today,” he wisecracks. The corners of her mouth hardly form a smile. This is a woman quite accustomed to—though still embarrassed by—male adoration. During the 15-minute interview interspersed with her hits Saving All My Love For You, Thinking About You and Hold Me (a duet with Teddy Pendergrass), they will touch on the manifestations of her meteoric rise this year: dates on three network talk shows, recorded duets with Pendergrass and Jermaine Jackson, appearances on Gimme a Break and Silver Spoons, and her self-titled debut LP, which has sold more than 2.5 million copies. Her sold-out Carnegie Hall performances last month attracted Eddie Murphy, Daryl Hannah, comic Howie Mandel, Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson, among others. Even New York Mayor Ed Koch showed up to see what all the fuss was about. (He got booed by some in the crowd, and the singer who once wanted to be a teacher told them that wasn’t nice.)
    After posing for pictures with radio station brass, Whitney heads for the hotel, digging into a brown-bag dinner of deli sandwiches, barbecue chips and soft drinks. With Whitney due to perform at Philly’s Tower Theater in less than three hours, there’s no time for a classier repast. A typical day in the life of this rising star.

Here are some other  links with 1985 TV performances of Whitney and The Tower Theater in Upper Darby, PA below…

see Whitney Houston’s 1985 debut on ‘The Tonight Show  on April 4, 1985.

see her perform on David Letterman’s show.   here’s a link for The Tower

We have lost a love of our own…here’s One Moment in Time at the Grammy’s 2009:

RIP, Whitney…

This is MeddlingMom…have a wonderful day….support the arts!

Congress-Writing Your Own Petition-Exercise

February 16, 2012

Hello, Everyone,

It’s been awhile…yes, going to the gym..taking it slow. I’ve only been there 5 times so far. I am doing a little exercise in between…anyway, taking it slow, but it is having an impact. When I went yesterday…the sneakers are not such an issue anymore and I can see that I am more’s easier to get on the machines, even though they are designed for someone 5’8 or 5’9..I am 5’1…but it’s all become easier. Yesterday, I did 25 minutes on the bike, about 4.5 miles and 3 sets of 12 on 3 machines…felt pretty good about it…will increase it soon…thinking about hiring a trainer…will have to look into it.

The reason I am writing today is that I received an e-mail this morning from my friend Bonnie. We have known each other since I was 4 and she was 2 1/2….that’s a long time. I have not fact checked this info, but it sounds like a great idea. Please take a look and if you like it, send it to your peeps.

Winds of Change….Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimumof twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.

This is one idea that really should be passed around.

_*Congressional Reform Act of 2011*_

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no

pay when they’re out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security

system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system

and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for

any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will

rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same

health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 1/1/12.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women. Congressmen/

women made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a

career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their

term(s), then go home and back to work

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three

days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.

Don’t you think it’s time?


If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.

You are one of my 20+ – Please keep it going, and thanks.

After I started writing this blog I decided to fact check the info. I don’t think fact check

completely covered the areas mentioned. I thought they dispelled some of the issues, they’re

explanation was a little “thin” and that some areas were completely ignored. You can write to them

and challenge them to be complete.

Take a look and by the way, there is no mention of Warren Buffett having suggested all of this.

It is good fodder for a rich discussion. I hope you will pass thing along anyway…there is much

that can be done to strengthen our legislature.

If you would like to start a petition for any reason, I saw on Sunday Morning on CBS, that you can

go to and there is a step-by-step for you to DIY. Molly Katchpole recently wrote a

petition aimed at Bank of America’s idea of charging $5/month to use the ATM. The result was that the

idea of a new fee was tossed out by the bank once they saw the petition. You go! Molly! My hero! FYI,

Molly is in her early 20’s . So no excuses out there. Here are two other such sites for your perusal: and

Anyway, folks, I hope I’ve given you some food for thought. Have a wonderful weekend..Here in the

Philadelphia area, we have been enjoying weather in the high 40’s and low 50’s…so sorry about the

Global Warming (and we WILL be sorry!). For now we are really happy to be wearing light weight clothes

and feeling like it is almost spring!

This is MeddlingMom…wishing you all that is good…
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Health-Reclaiming It! Back to the Gym..

February 4, 2012

Day 2-off to the gym

..or so I thought.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to go to the gym when you haven’t been there for over 5 years!  Nearly impossible. On day 1 I suffered trying to select something to wear. Then I put on those huge New Balance sneakers that make me feel totally claustrophobic, I mean, does a sneaker have to be so built up all around as if you are in a space ship? Exactly what are we doing, practically cutting off all circulation…so you know that if you have many rolls of skin, it is nearly impossible to bend over and put on your sneakers, even with the help of a shoehorn.  I huff and I puff and bend over this way trying to get around my belly if even just for a moment, long enough to get the shoe on (while negotiating the sock that may be sliding around) , pull the laces tight and tie it!  This is really hard to do…it took me a good 5 minutes of struggling to get one sneaker on and this isn’t even the dreaded New Balance…this is a mere, lightweight original Keds sneaker (yes, I am old and gay and I prefer this to those that are cool).  So I took a break from the huffing to literally catch my breath before I tackle the other sneaker. What I discovered while putting on the first sneaker was that these have not been worn in years! And I believe I am probably a half size larger now, so I need to order some new Keds pronto!  Later today, online…

The whole process of getting ready for the gym is excruciating for an obese person…truly it is a great disincentive (as if dying of a heart attack is not!).  You go through so many mixed emotions just as you try to decide what to wear (that won’t draw attention to your girth with all of those strange thin people at the gym). You already feel bad, so bad, about how did you let this happen to your body and then you have to stuff those feelings once more and just go do it…EXERCISE and sweat (which I don’t like, the sweating, that is). So of course, this is why I am writing right now, instead of being at the gym. Seriously I will go to the gym, but the other day (the first day), I had so many emotions while I was getting ready and when I went to write them down later, all of the passion, feelings and emotion were gone. The writing was flat…I didn’t know how to re-capture what I had experienced. I CAN tell you that every single thing I felt was about shame and embarassment and about the courage it took to be out there. You see this is the year I reclaim my health. It will not be easy, but what is, really? Easy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I am only 5’1” and with the bulk of those New Balance sneakers and my inflexibility, I could not get my foot up over the center of the stationery bike I was going to ride. It took about 4 tries…then I had to figure out how to choose a program while my glasses were in my bag on the floor….and that’s a whole other issue, where the hell are you supposed to put your jacket and keys?  The locker room is at the farthest point from the front door…blah, blah, blah….Now that was fine, but the bike I got on was broken! So I had to get off and attempt another and then all was fine.  From there I went to the abductor, the machine  where the machine parts are on the outside of your thighs (abductor) was ok. Then I went to the one where the parts go between your legs (the adductor). I had to have help to get my right leg over to get on..I was fine with the left leg, my left side is stronger.  Then when I went to get off that machine, I got one leg off, but could not clear the other foot of the machine and had to ask someone for help.  So this was humbling to say the least. Of course I met some very nice people during this process, very kind.  I also did 3 sets of 12 on the leg press, no help needed, here!  I imagine I won’t need the help today. The truth is….all of this is the very reason why I need to be working out and regaining my strength and flexibility.  I do have to admit, there were some moments where I felt very teary, like right now.  Nobody wants to be fat…and have such a huge (pardon the pun) task ahead of themselves.

I have realized in recent years that there have been many things I have not participated in or have shied away from due to my body’s appearance. I am ready to have a normal size body and to choose whether I do whatever activity based on what I want and my interests.  Now comes the hard work..oh, well, I’ve done lots of things that were more difficult…

One thing I do recommend as a result of my experiences this week: Before you embark on this venture, gather together whatever you think you will need in terms of clothing, sneakers, socks, sweatshirt, tote or gym bag, etc and try on everything long before the day you start. Be clear about your assessment of everything. If you hate a pair of pants or sneakers, banish them and replace them with something that works for you. Only wear what you will be comfortable with and keep all of these items in one place so that when you go to get ready, you can avoid some of the trauma that I experienced. I will be doing that later today so that I will have a better and uneventful time of it tomorrow.  Remember the reason you are in this position is because you did NOT put what you need FIRST.

This is MeddlingMom…have a great weekend…off to the gym, via the post office…

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