Okay we have 6 year old children who want cell phones and go to concerts (not Mozart!) I heard recently that Walmart is now carrying a makeup line for 8 to 12 year olds. When George Stephanopoulos says his daughters wear a little makeup (blush? who needs blush at 8 years old?) Are people crazy? Have we lost our minds? I admit my offspring are well-grown, but I am not antiquated in my thinking, I believe. The last time I looked around, it still made sense to decide what you believe in and what your values are, i.e.: what is good for your child and his/her development and to calmly and responsibly instill those values in your children. Yes, there will be conflict along the way. That is normal when raising one’s children. It is to be expected, not necessarily avoided. We need to have conversations with our children in order to teach them how to sort out facts, emotions, wants, needs and to teach them how to make sound decisions.
Let’s look at a very real situation. Would you allow your 2 year old to play in the street? If you would, you can stop reading this right now. Clearly it is your job as a parent to protect your child. Each parent has to decide what makes sense and what has value and specifically for each person based on age, temperament, interests and a variety of other factors. I realize that electronics are exciting; they make noises, have buttons to push, pictures change sometimes without the user doing anything. They are truly fascinating and many of us are addicted. So why wouldn’t our children think that electronics were thrilling and essential to their lives? They are exposed from birth and shown that these items are IMPORTANT to us (oftentimes more important than our children are!) Children don’t know why your phone is important to you, just that it is. Have you seen a 7 month old holding a cell phone, ready to send a text message? I have! That baby knows exactly how to hold the phone! We teach infants to be addicted to electronics…have you thought about that lately? Have you been to a restaurant lately? Have you watched the dynamics at the tables around you? Adults and children are looking DOWN at their phones, texting or e-mailing on other technology….or children are playing hand-held games…I ask you, why are these people out together…they certainly ARE NOT together in any way other than physically…there is no conversation…when did we get so bored with each other? and with life?
I ask you to take a look around today…observe your surroundings and your own behavior…notice the moms walking down the street with toddlers…paying not one bit of attention to those children…rather mom is in an active conversation (oftentimes a lengthy one) with an adult on her phone or blackberry or whatever the newest toy is…what is the message…the very clear message to those children is “YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT; I WILL BE WITH YOU, BUT I WILL NOT BE ENGAGED WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT VERY INTERESTING”. You can react by thinking I am being ridiculous; I would say that if you feel that way, perhaps you see yourself in the scenarios I describe.
Forget about the value or non-value of any technology. That really isn’t the point. The point is – what is the value of the people who are physically with you? Are they nothing, is that what you want them to believe? The person you are with is more important than almost 100% of the messages you are receiving electronically. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Think about those who you say are important to you and put that interest into action. Call your loved ones, actually listen to them and don’t jump when you see that you have a text message or a phone call. Listen as your child tells you a story about what happened today. Think about whether your relationships have any real value. Add quality by adding yourself and being present. The only thing of value you can really give people is YOUR TIME. Time is what makes people understand that they are important to you.
Two weeks ago a 10 year old boy fell onto the tracks in New York; he was busy playing a hand-held game. Luckily he was rescued and unharmed…People die every year from looking at their electronics instead of where they are going.
And while you are at it, if you are one of those who still thinks they can text while driving, 6000 people each year die from idiots like you. If you have to use your phone, pull off the road and make your call or send your text. Save a life-it might be your own.
To see what one amazing college student did to make a difference and how you can help by recycling your cell phones, click on
amazing college student or check out www.SaveOne.net.
This is MeddlingMom…think about it…what do you want in your life? Make it happen!
Love the one you’re with!
MeddlingMom 